Shola Adisa-Farrar

On Yourself
What does self-discovery mean to you?

Simply and delightfully, in the most complex and uncomfortable ways discovering who I am, who I was, what I was taught and who I choose to be.


Can you describe your relationship to your sexuality?

I feel comfortable exploring my sexual interest in men who I'm attracted to. I enjoy flirting ...with desire and tension. I am sensual and appreciate when all of my senses are stimulated: the music, the feel of the air, the pressure of the touch, the scent of the candle, the smell of the skin, the sight of beauty... a chiseled body, a well styled space, unmanicured nature.

On Sexuality
How do you give yourself pleasure?

Through doing the things that make me feel good: taking a hot bath, cooking myself a gorgeous meal, pampering my skin, being physically active, spending time luxuriating in the bed with myself or with a lover.


How do you ask for what you want?


First, I check in with myself to figure out what I want and why, and then I ask in the way that seems appropriate to the situation. I communicate a lot with my eyes and the inflections in my voice when I speak or whisper.

On Womenkind
What’s your favorite part of being a woman?

I love that I have the flexibility to present myself in many different ways at any given time through my dress or body language. I can do so many things with my body that can benefit and please myself as well as other people.

In terms of pleasure, what do you think women don’t talk about enough?

I don't think women talk about the specificity of what turns us on individually, how to ask for what we want from our partners or direct them, and how to give ourselves pleasure all by ourselves.

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