What does self discovery mean to you?
Aging comes with all kinds of pros and cons but I am feeling very comfortable with the self assuredness that is an inevitable outcome of experimenting for decades. Discovery is a result of research and development, analysis and doing uncomfortable things despite our brain’s hesitancy.
How do you ask for what you want?
I’ve always been an extremely open communicator but I have gotten better at sitting with my initial reactions and evaluating what they really mean. Do I actually want that or do I think that I want that because culturally, societally, it’s expected? Excavating desire and dislike are important parts of self discovery.
What do you love about being a woman?
Womanhood to me, is understanding the cards dealt and figuring out how to manipulate them in our patriarchal system. Being a woman is powerful, nuanced and fortifying. We shape shift, adapt easily and have incredible physical and emotional strength.
Try everything (except hard drugs) once. Following your instinct is extremely important but so is stretching the boundaries of understanding, experience, relatability and comfort.
What don’t women talk about enough pleasure:
I actually just read this great essay about female pleasure, orgasms and the medical history and commodification of women’s sexuality (it’s called “The Tyranny of the Female Orgasm Industrial Complex” by Katherine Smyth in The Atlantic) that eloquently breaks down our western cultural obsession with womens’ orgasms. Thoughts I was left with: why are we obsessed with women “finishing”? Shifting the focus to pleasure for pleasure’s sake instead of the volcanic climax shown so often in movies (yet much less achieved IRL) could open new doors to sexual wellness, satisfaction and understandings of shame and better erotic communication.